Thursday, February 26, 2015

Privacy issues on Facebook

You wouldn’t have to worry about privacy issues on Facebook if you didn’t post sensitive, private information on Facebook…such as information that one day can be used against you. And really, you should share only what you consider “professional” information, even with family. Just stop with the nonsense.
At any rate, it’s important to know how to use Facebook’s privacy features, which change from time to time. Here are useful tips.
  1. Go to Start, then Account, then Privacy Settings, then Edit Your Profile.
  2. In the Edit Your Profile feature, go through everything there and set things up. There are multiple data fields. To get their drop-down menus, hit the lock on the right of the fields.
  3. Review posts friends tag you in before they appear on your timeline” Set this so your friends can’t make posts that include you that appear on your timeline without your knowledge and/or permission. A friend may tag you in something racist or sexist that makes you look bad by association.
  4. “Ads and Friends.” Set this so people can’t see which businesses you have friended if you’d like. For example, if you’re Liked a “bondage” shop because it was funny to Like it, it might not be in your best interests that a potential employer sees this.
  5. “Do you want other search engines to link to your timeline” Set this to prevent people from finding your timeline entries when they do Google searches. Theres no reason a private FB needs this setting live.
  6. “Limit the audience for posts you’ve shared with friends of friends or Public?” Set this to avoid letting a wide audience see your old posts. You may have had a cock tail or two one night and posted something you may regret the next day.
  7. “Log-in approval” This is big. signing up for this ensures that no one else can easily log into your Facebook account.
  8. Friends Lists. Click Edit Friends after you click Account. Go to Create a List to categorize your “friends,” such as those from work only or “share everything.”
  9. To restrict access, you can choose something on your friends lists to narrow the field, such as your created category of “childhood close friends.” Play around with the options. You’ll see an option called Custom, which breaks down to Select Specific People. Be patient and tinker around a bit. If you don’t want your nosy neighbor to see anything, click “Hide this from.”
  10. Under Privacy Settings is Apps and Websites. Other people’s apps can take your information and post it elsewhere. Go to Apps you Use, and How People Bring Your Info Into Apps They Use. You’ll be able to tell who’s taking information from you. But you can disable this too. If you only want select people to know you have an FB page, turn off the Public Searches function. Then, if someone googles your name, your FB page won’t show in the results.
  11. The How Tags Work feature controls tags about you on your page only. You’ll see an option called Friends Can Check You Into Places. Turn this off. Otherwise, one of your “friends” could blab personal information about you. (Gee, at this point, it’s easy to understand why some people just don’t have a FB account—including the most social, outgoing people you’ve ever known.)
  12. To see how your profile looks to visitors, click View As at the top right.
  13. Click on How You Connect under Privacy Settings. This feature determines/controls who can interact with you and view your posts. Again, play around with this.
  14. The Block Lists under Privacy Settings will block whomever you please from contacting you.
  15. Continue spending time in Privacy Settings to further refine your preferences.
Robert Siciliano is an identity theft expert to discussing identity theft prevention.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

You don’t treat borderlines, you ignore them

by Paul Elam

BPD is the indicated diagnosis when some or all of the following are present:
  • A long-term pattern of unstable or turbulent emotions, including frequent displays of inappropriate anger.
  • A pattern of impulsive actions and chaotic relationships, including, but not limited to impulsiveness with money, substance abuse, sexual relationships, binge eating, and shoplifting.
  • Intolerant, often hostile reaction to being alone.
  • Repeated crises and acts of self-injury, such as wrist cutting or overdosing.
There is a more thorough examination of behaviors common to BPD, but you won’t likely find them detailed in diagnostic literature. The following are traits I have drawn from personal experience observing borderline women in clinical and real life settings.
  • A remarkable facility for lying and manipulation, particularly for sympathy and adulation, but also to enlist action from others that will further their personal objectives for revenge or retaliation.
  • A propensity to make false allegations of rape, sexual abuse and domestic violence.
  • A near bottomless capacity for vengeance over the least, or even imagined, slights.
  • A sadistic pleasure in causing unwarranted harm to others who are perceived to be enemies, or even those determined to not love them “enough.”
  • The capacity to justify and rationalize any abusive behavior, no matter how extreme or how innocent the victim. No moral compass.
  • The repetitive demand that others sympathize with them, even as they cause destruction in the lives of innocents.
  • The distorted mindset that the abuse they inflict is not abuse, but that objecting to it or fighting back is abusive to them.
And one other thing must be incorporated into your understanding of the BPD. They are in total control of what they are doing.  There is no organic factor or deficit in self control that causes what they do. Their acts are willful and premeditated. They comprehend the difference between right and wrong, appropriate and inappropriate, truth and lies, reality and fantasy.
They frequently hold jobs and involve themselves in social situations where their destructive behaviors would quickly work against them. They often perform admirably and demonstrate a respectable capacity for self control and appropriate behavior. Any notion that they cannot help their actions, which you will most frequently hear from BPD’s or the unscrupulous clinicians who profit from their condition by helping them rationalize their behavior, is completely fraudulent.
They know what they are doing and often enjoy it.
Do they suffer tremendously from internal chaos and unstable emotions? Certainly. So do the depressed, and alcoholics and those with anxiety disorders and other maladies. We just don’t offer any of them as pass on hurting themselves and others. Nor should we.
Given the absolute potential for devastation that the BPD brings into the lives of anyone unfortunate enough to be in their path, it is pretty important to understand the prognosis for their condition.
There is no psychotropic medication that treats BPD and there is no known cognitive therapy that works with them. In short, they have an intractable condition that is impervious to treatment of any kind. They cannot be helped near as much as they can be avoided for the sake of helping others.
There is a running joke among psychiatric professionals about BPD’s. And yes, we told jokes about serious problems. It is one of the ways clinicians deal with the stress of working with them.  Anyway, it’s a simple one-liner.
You don’t treat borderlines, you ignore them.
And that, in the broader sense, is also indirect professional advice when it comes to anyone with the misfortune to find themselves locked in the sights of a BPD.
Get away from them.
Go directly in the other direction. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.00. Just get thee…away; chalk whatever losses you suffer up to experience and be grateful about what you could have lost.
Families of alcoholics are told to cut them off (and the enabling) as long as they are drinking. It is good advice that helps the alcoholic face their problem and often saves the family a lot of misery.  But dealing with a borderline is not near as simple or easy as going to an Alanon meeting and learning better boundaries. Their pathology is far too serious and dangerous for that.
Hear this, and hear it clearly. They are not going to get better. Ever. There is nothing you can do, no kindness you can extend, no sympathy you can embrace, no psychological slight-of-hand, nor the culmination of wisdom from your entire life’s experience that you can bring to bear to make a BPD anything other than a major, life draining pain in the ass and a potential nightmare waiting to destroy everything you have, inside and out.
In fact, should you find yourself engaging in endless internal debate about whether you should stay or leave a relationship with a BPD, I suggest you get help for yourself. Unlike them, there may be a chance to reach you and help you identify what causes you to stay attached to a lifestyle of abuse, chaos and danger.
Then again, there is always the red pill.

About Paul Elam

Paul Elam is the founder and publisher of A Voice for Men, the founder of A Voice for Men Radio, the AVfM YouTube Channel, and appears weekly on AVFM Intelligence Report, Going Mental with Dr. Tara Palmatier and weekly on MANstream Media with Warren Farrell and Tom Golden.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

"Breaking the Cycle of Suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder"

HOUSTON On October 23/2104, Doctor of Divinity and MSW Pastoral Counselor Debra Meehl, co-founder of the Meehl Foundation, will present "Breaking the Cycle of Suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder" at Atlanta's Amen Clinic. The workshop will feature an interactive presentation on Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), along with the latest insights on the treatment of bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and substance abuse.
"Case examples and interactive demonstrations will be used to show the value of DBT in treating mood and personality disorders with co-occurring substance abuse," explained Meehl. "We'll also be looking at some of the latest research on SPECT imaging, a unique tool that has revealed important details regarding how the brain functions in individuals with mood disorders."
Among the more innovative diagnostic tools available today for understanding mood disorders at the biological level, SPECT imaging is an active scanning method that reveals blood flow volume and patterns. As opposed to CT scans and MRIs, SPECT imaging offers dynamic feedback on brain activity rather than static images.
The Meehl Foundation promotes an approach to treatment that encompasses biochemistry, psychotherapy and social skills development; healing the mind, body and spirit is the treatment objective. Nearly half of those diagnosed with bipolar disorder also have BPD, and most have at least some of symptoms. This has led researchers to consider that the disorders could be closely linked. People with BPD or bipolar are significantly more likely to abuse substances, a factor that worsens the underlying mood disorder and makes treatment more complex. The Meehl Foundation and the Amen Clinic have both developed programs and techniques for addressing mood disorders with co-occurring substance abuse.
DBT is a fully developed psychotherapy approach that gives individuals the tools and knowledge to better manage their own responses and emotional states. The therapy addresses four key components – mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance and emotional regulation. The Meehl Foundation is a recognized leader in the application of this therapy.
The Amen Clinic in Atlanta is home to some of the foremost authorities on brain health and brain SPECT imaging. The clinical team has experience with the full range of cognitive and personality disorders, from substance abuse and addiction to anxiety and depression. Clients of the Amen Clinic receive personalized guidance in developing "brain-healthy" habits to measurably improve their quality of life.
Meehl added: "I'm thrilled to be partnering with an organization as respected as the Amen Clinic and look forward to interacting with workshop attendees."
About The Meehl Foundation
Mark and Debra Meehl created the Meehl Foundation and the Meehl House to give those struggling with mood disorders a holistic plan to achieve balance in their lives. A residential treatment facility located on the Gulf Coast in Brazoria, the Meehl House serves clients all over the U.S and across the world.
Debra Meehl, DD, MSW
SOURCE Meehl Foundation