With millions of monthly shoppers, VIPON is one of the
largest Amazon deal sites, providing the best coupons, deals and much
more. Check our homepage every day to get the hottest Amazon products at
the lowest price possible. Discover the best Amazon deals,
coupons, discounts and freebies at Vipon.com. Get the hottest Amazon
products at the lowest price possible. 50% - 80% OFF EVERYTHING
40,000 + daily products. Affordable Christmas gifts for the whole family. Save this season with Vipon
Get link
Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps
14 Signs of Psychological and Emotional Manipulation
Get link
Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps
-
How to spot a manipulator
Psychological manipulation can be defined as the
exercise of undue influence through mental distortion and emotional
exploitation, with the intention to seize power, control, benefits
and/or privileges at the victim’s expense.
It is important to distinguish healthy social influence from
psychological manipulation. Healthy social influence occurs between most
people, and is part of the give and take of constructive relationships.
In psychological manipulation, one person is used for the benefit of
another. The manipulator deliberately creates an imbalance of power, and
exploits the victim to serve his or her agenda.
Below is a list of fourteen “tricks” manipulative people often use to
coerce others into a position of disadvantage, excerpted from by book
(click on link): “How to Successfully Handle Manipulative People (link is external)”.
This is not meant to be an exhaustive list, but rather a compilation of
subtle as well as strident examples of coercion. Not everyone who acts
in the following manners may be deliberately trying to manipulate you.
Some people simply have very poor habits. Regardless, it’s important to
recognize these behaviors in situations where your rights, interests and
safety are at stake. 1. Home Court Advantage
A manipulative individual may insist on you meeting and interacting
in a physical space where he or she can exercise more dominance and
control. This can be the manipulator’s office, home, car, or other
spaces where he feels ownership and familiarity (and where you lack
them). 2. Let You Speak First to Establish Your Baseline and Look for Weaknesses
Many sales people do this when they prospect you. By asking you
general and probing questions, they establish a baseline about your
thinking and behavior, from which they can then evaluate your strengths
and weaknesses. This type of questioning with hidden agenda can also
occur at the workplace or in personal relationships. 3. Manipulation of Facts
Examples: Lying.
Excuse making. Two faced. Blaming the victim for causing their own
victimization. Deformation of the truth. Strategic disclosure or
withholding of key information. Exaggeration. Understatement. One-sided bias of issue. 4. Overwhelm You with Facts and Statistics
Some individuals enjoy “intellectual bullying”
by presuming to be the expert and most knowledgeable in certain areas.
They take advantage of you by imposing alleged facts, statistics, and
other data you may know little about. This can happen in sales and
financial situations, in professional discussions and negotiations, as
well as in social and relational arguments. By presuming expert power
over you, the manipulator hopes to push through her or his agenda more
convincingly. Some people use this technique for no other reason than to
feel a sense of intellectual superiority. 5. Overwhelm You with Procedures and Red Tape
Certain people use bureaucracy – paperwork, procedures, laws and
by-laws, committees, and other roadblocks to maintain their position and
power, while making your life more difficult. This technique can also
be used to delay fact finding and truth seeking, hide flaws and
weaknesses, and evade scrutiny. 6. Raising Their Voice and Displaying Negative Emotions
Some individuals raise their voice during discussions as a form of
aggressive manipulation. The assumption may be that if they project
their voice loudly enough, or display negative emotions, you’ll submit
to their coercion and give them what they want. The aggressive voice is
frequently combined with strong body language such as standing or excited gestures to increase impact. 7. Negative Surprises
Some people use negative surprises to put you off balance and gain a
psychological advantage. This can range from low balling in a
negotiation situation, to a sudden profession that she or he will not be
able to come through and deliver in some way. Typically, the unexpected
negative information comes without warning, so you have little time to
prepare and counter their move. The manipulator may ask for additional
concessions from you in order to continue working with you. 8. Giving You Little or No Time to Decide
This is a common sales and negotiation tactic, where the manipulator
puts pressure on you to make a decision before you’re ready. By applying
tension and control onto you, it is hoped that you will “crack” and
give in to the aggressor’s demands. 9. Negative Humor Designed to Poke at Your Weaknesses and Disempower You
Some manipulators like to make critical remarks, often disguised as
humor or sarcasm, to make you seem inferior and less secure. Examples
can include any variety of comments ranging from your appearance, to
your older model smart phone, to your background and credentials, to the
fact that you walked in two minutes late and out of breath. By making
you look bad, and getting you to feel bad, the aggressor hopes to impose
psychological superiority over you. 10. Consistently Judge and Criticize You to Make You Feel Inadequate
Distinct from the previous behavior where negative humor is used as a
cover, here the manipulator outright picks on you. By constantly
marginalizing, ridiculing, and dismissing you, she or he keeps you
off-balance and maintains her superiority. The aggressor deliberately
fosters the impression that there’s always something wrong with you, and
that no matter how hard you try, you are inadequate and will never be
good enough. Significantly, the manipulator focuses on the negative
without providing genuine and constructive solutions, or offering
meaningful ways to help. 11. The Silent Treatment
By deliberately not responding to your reasonable calls, text
messages, emails, or other inquiries, the manipulator presumes power by
making you wait, and intends to place doubt and uncertainty in your
mind. The silent treatment is a head game where silence is used as a
form of leverage. 12. Pretend Ignorance
This is the classic “playing dumb” tactic. By pretending she or he
doesn’t understand what you want, or what you want her to do, the
manipulator/passive-aggressive
makes you take on what is her responsibility, and gets you to break a
sweat. Some children use this tactic in order to delay, stall, and
manipulate adults into doing for them what they don’t want to do. Some
grown-ups use this tactic as well when they have something to hide, or
obligation they wish to avoid. 13. Guilt-Baiting
Examples: Unreasonable blaming. Targeting recipient’s soft spot. Holding another responsible for the manipulator’s happiness and success, or unhappiness and failures.
By targeting the recipient’s emotional weaknesses and vulnerability,
the manipulator coerces the recipient into ceding unreasonable requests
and demands. 14. Victimhood
Examples: Exaggerated or imagined personal issues. Exaggerated or imagined health issues. Dependency. Co-dependency. Deliberate frailty to elicit sympathy and favor. Playing weak, powerless, or martyr.
The purpose of manipulative victimhood is often to exploit the recipient’s good will, guiltyconscience, sense of duty and obligation, or protective and nurturing instinct, in order to extract unreasonable benefits and concessions.
Preston Ni M.S.B.A.
Preston Ni is the author of (click on titles) "How to Communicate Effectively and Handle Difficult People (link is external)" and "Communication Success with Four Personality Types (link is external)". He
is a professor, coach, trainer, and course designer in the areas of
interpersonal effectiveness, professional communication, cross-cultural
understanding, and organizational change.
With twenty years of experience, Preston's dynamic presentations and
powerful coaching have benefited thousands worldwide. He has worked with
Fortune 500 stalwarts Microsoft, Hewlett Packard, Lockheed Martin,
Intel, Visa, and eBay, as well as coached executives, managers, and
private individuals to identify their catalyst for success.
Preston received a Master of Science Degree in Business
Administration, and is tenured faculty of the Communication Studies
Department at Foothill College in Silicon Valley, California. He holds a
certificate in the Management Development Program at Harvard
University, and is an Alumnus Fellow of the Stanford University Human
Rights Education Initiative.
Preston's articles and commentaries appear on websites and in
publications including The Oprah Magazine, Psychology Today, and Asian
Week. He is the recipient of the Diversity Leadership Award in Teaching
and Learning, and the inaugural recipient of the Silicon Valley Speak-Up
Distinguished Speaker of the Year award. He is also keynote speaker on
the DVD program "Cross-Cultural Communication: East and West", featured
on the Business and Technology Network and the National Technological
University Network.
For more information on Preston Ni and his presentations, workshops, and private coaching, write to commsuccess@nipreston.com (link sends e-mail).
Website: www.nipreston.com (link is external)
One of the classic behaviors of a person suffering from Borderline
Personality Disorder is the vilification campaign. The target is the
person against whom the perpetrator Borderline conducts the
vilification. The intent is to destroy the target’s reputation and
thereby destroy the target’s relationships with family and friends,
employers, co-workers, doctors, teachers, therapists, and others. The
intent may even be to force the target to leave the community, put the
target in prison, or even kill the target. As with so many things
involving Borderlines and their typical inability to understand or
respect boundaries, there really are no limits. They will use basically
any means available to them to cause damage to their target, including
denigration, endless disparaging remarks, fabrication, false
accusations, and even teaching others (including their children!) to lie
on their behalf as part of their vilification campaign.
Distortion Campaigns Not Limited to BPD Victi…
The Forum will be co-hosted by the West
African Economic & Monetary Union (UEMOA), the West African
Development Bank (BOAD) and Global Finance & Capital Limited (GFCL),
to highlight exceptional infrastructure investment opportunities in West Africa On Tuesday 09 September the inaugural West Africa Investment Forum will take place at the Madinat Jumeirah, Dubai.
The Forum, co-hosted by the West African Economic & Monetary Union
(UEMOA), the West African Development Bank (BOAD) and Global Finance
& Capital Limited (GFCL), an international corporate finance and
advisory firm, will bring together key stakeholders for the formal
announcement of a series of large-scale infrastructure developments in West Africa.
Comments
Post a Comment