Thursday, January 28, 2016

Aspen's Prestigious Gallery 1949

ASPEN, Colo., Jan. 27, 2016 /-- The high profile, contemporary art gallery, Gallery 1949, has taken over Aspen along with the well known pop artist Nelson De La Nuez, whose art can be seen peering back at you through the gallery windows. International pop artist Nelson De La Nuez, branded by the media and press years ago as The King of Pop Art has connected strongly with the fashionable winter playground and wealthy summer arts colony. Modern Luxury Publishers prominent Aspen Magazine and its supplemental Gallery Guide for Winter 2016 saw the connection to its readers when they chose his artwork for its cover. The jet setting couple kissing on the cover exclaim via a thought bubble "Aspen is Always a Good Idea!"
Socialite and business mogul Paris Hilton, a regular skier in Aspen Instagrammed the actual large gallery painting while on vacation. The artist offers custom thought bubbles and unique one of a kind pieces at the Aspen gallery. Each one sells for approximately $30,000+ depending on size and availability. His one-off mixed media originals are difficult to come by and sell for a much higher price range, anywhere from $65k-105k. "A lot of the rare De La Nuez's original paintings end up being sold into private collections, so I am excited to be able to acquire his more rare work at Gallery 1949 and offer the art to the public first," exclaims gallery director Jared Goulet.
"His art really resonates with my audience here, whether they are traveling, have a home here, or both. His themes are about the "good life", shopping, designer items women desire, wall street high finance and they are written in such an elegant, sophisticated way with a twist of fun," Goulet explains. The artist adds, "It takes time to create not only the painting but all of the writing the characters say. It's not just slapping a few words in a bubble. A lot of time goes into those words. It's an art in itself," De La Nuez states.
Nelson De La Nuez, is struggling to paint at a fast enough pace to fill the orders of his galleries worldwide without compromising. When so many other artists achieve his level of success, they often never paint the actual art anymore, but rather studio assistants do. This has become the norm and he refuses to let that happen.
The artist has been juxtaposing childhood games, Americana and luxury since the early 1980's. His style continues to evolve by constantly merging pop culture with relevant issues. Gallery 1949 also shows his artwork dealing with today's issues and something for everyone, such as, "Love Wins," a positive pop culture/Monopoly painting on the rights to gay marriage, displayed during Aspen Gay Ski Week, and "High Times," a satirical pot smoking children's book for the Colorado crowd and X Gamers.
The gallery is located on Hunter St at the corner of Cooper, within a block of the luxurious Little Nell resort, not far from the prominent Caribou Club. The gallery director has an eye for what sells and seems to sell every De La Nuez that passes through his doors, including the limited edition, elegantly framed Pop Donuts sculpture that you would swear are real donuts with a frame that resembles white frosting. The Los Angeles artist will make an appearance for a solo show at the gallery later in the year and Goulet expects it to create quite a stir. De La Nuez is collected by thousands of celebrities, and entertainment industry executives, who happen to be the Who's Who of Aspen as well.
About:Nelson De La Nuez's artwork is hanging in some of the most prominent, private collections of movie stars, directors, producers, comedians, corporations and art connoisseurs.  His art has been featured on countless television and luxury interior design shows/celebrity homes.
He's listed on the "Who's Who List of the Most Collected Artists of Our Time." 
De La Nuez's pop art is sold in galleries and auctions worldwide.
He has new branded fashion lines debuting in 2016 in major department stores.
View art:
Luxury Licensed Brands site
The MOHA humor site

Follow on Twitter
Fan King of Pop Art on Face Book
Videos can be seen via You Tube
Source: Gallery 1949,
Jared Goulet, Gallery Director
402 S Hunter St
Aspen, CO
Press interviews, photos:
Stacy Ann,
Celeb PR Group
Photo -
Photo -
SOURCE Gallery 1949

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Hourglass Literary Magazine


Hourglass Literary Magazine with the cooperation, support and patronage of Krajina klassBLC (Banjaluka College) and software company Literature and Latte, announces its maiden competition for:

  • The winning entry in each category (short story, essay and poem) will receive US$1000 as prize money, apart from a symbolic artifact (clepsydra), digital stamp and diploma.
  • Winning entries will be published in the first issue of the Hourglass Literary Magazine, in the original language (English / BCMS languages) and translated (BCMS/English).
  • Authors will also receive three printed copies of the first issue of the Hourglass Literary Magazine.

Special Awards

  • The jury, comprising highly respected authors Sibelan Forrester, Jelena Lengold and John K. Cox has the right to give a special prize (US$ 500 for entry in each category).
  • Ten Finalists in each category will be published in the first issue of the literary magazine.
  • All published works will be financially compensated and finalists will be provided with one copy of the printed edition of the Hourglass Literary Magazine .

Scrivener Award

  • Special prize of the Literature and Latte – Scrivener Award – consisting of the three licensed software solutions “Scrivener”.
  • About Scrivener: Scrivener is a powerful content-generation tool for writers that allows you to concentrate on composing and structuring long and difficult documents. While it gives you complete control of the formatting, its focus is on helping you get to the end of that awkward first draft.


…will be officially awarded in Banja Luka, Bosnia and Hercegovina (September 1, 2016). The event winners and finalists will be informed via e-mail/phone. If an author cannot attend the awards ceremony, sponsors of the contest will provide the video conference; funds will be paid via PayPal or bank transfer.

General criteria of the competition

  • The Early deadline is open from October 20 2015 to 11:59 P.M. December 31,  2015 (US Central time).
  • Final closing date: 11:59 P.M. May 31st 2016 (US Central time).
  • Jury/Judges: Sibelan Forrester, Jelena Lengold and John K. Cox.
  • The competition is international and is open to all authors writing in English or any of the BCMS languages (comprising Bosnian, Croatian, Serbian, Montenegrin.)
  • Authors who write in BCMS may submit their entries in Latin or Cyrillic script.
  • There are no theme, or genre limitations and boundaries.
  • Work must be original and unpublished.
  • One author can compete in all categories, for all three awards respectively.
  • Multiple submissions are allowed (as well as simultaneous  submissions).
  • By participating in the contest of the Hourglass Literary Magazine authors agree that their work which they submitted in the contest is to be published in the first issue of the Hourglass Literary Magazine (in print and digital form).
  • Short stories, essays and poems by writers who write in English will be translated in one of the BCMS languages ​​and vice versa.
  • Participants retain the copyright of their works.
  • Names of finalists will be published on the Internet at: and/or the Hourglass Monthly Newsletter and also through our media sponsor (ELTA TV) at the official press conference scheduled for July 2016.
  • Works can be sent in .doc, .docx, .rtf, .odt and .pdf format, with font size not exceeding 12 points.
  • Contest is anonymous and will be blind judged.
  • Please prepare your text document(s) accordingly to avoid disqualification. The document should only contain the name and text of the story, poem(s), essay. Personal details should be included in the Cover letter of the submission tool.
  • Participants at any time may contact the editorial office via email: contest {at}
  • “Manifesto” of the literary magazine can be found here.


  • Due to colossal differences in regional (BCMS) and international (more specifically English-speaking area) standards, all shortlisted  authors (including the winners), will be contacted separately regarding the contract via e-mail or phone before we commence work on the inaugural issue of Hourglass Literary Magazine.

Detailed instructions for submissions:

We only accept submissions online via Submittable.
Text for a short story should not exceed 7000 words or be less than 700 words. Entry fee: 13.59 USD.
There are no strict limits, provided that poems should not have more than 3500 words. Author, writer competing in the category for the best poem can submit up to three works. Entry fee: 13.59 USD.
Essays should not exceed 9000 words or be less than 1000 words. Entry fee: 13.59 USD.


Entry fee for authors who want to compete with more than one work in the category for the best essay, best short story is 20 USD for three works.


Monday, January 18, 2016

Emil Cioran

 "Cioran in Romania" Photographer of Keyston agency / Getty Images
If I had to name a philosopher to whom I feel particularly close, I would say certainly Cioran. I can share all its steps and also his refusal to politics, in total coherence with the philosophical choices.Cioran's attitude towards existence is expressed in a defense of non-existence and therefore suicide: life is a disgrace and the birth irretrievable disaster .In reality himself, despite being a great connoisseur of philosophy , it does not define him self a philosopher but a private thinker "Privatdenker".In the :The disadvantage of being born  work of 1973 he focuses on the tragic vision of existence and his pessimism which is the extreme of what Schopenhauer from which also draws the interest in Buddhism and the theory of the nightmare the pain of living:

"" Everything is pain. " The formula Buddhist, modernized, would sound, "It is a nightmare." [....] I do not lose to be born. It is as if,
infiltrate in this world, I had profaned a mystery, betrayed some solemn undertaking, is guilty of unprecedented severity. But it happens to be less peremptory birth seems to me then that I would be a calamity inconsolable not to have known. "

The '"brave Disillusion"There is no doubt that the work of Cioran, while unfolding in various books also far apart in time and topic, is pervaded by a spirit totally cruel but at the same time hopeful, as disillusionment: cruel because in front of it all worldly phenomenon flows into bankruptcy, hopeful because nothing is more instructive, in philosophy, the same failure. [6]The writings of Cioran have the mark of dizziness and clarity, are not written according to pedagogical purposes. And why are extreme, laconic epitaphs existence of random, meaningless, permeated by bitterness."There are nights when the future is abolished, and all its moments there is only what we choose to no longer be."SuicideEmil Cioran suicide provides a totally new reading. It, rather than being the ultimate expression of disillusionment and despair in the face of a life unlivable, is paradoxically what enables life. This is possible to the extent that the existence is perceived in absolute terms as agonizing constriction inevitable ; In this perspective, suicide is the character fuller freedom exercised by the man who, in the impotence of life, has at all times the omnipotence of the termination of the Whole, the extreme negation of all otherness unsustainable. The man, ultimately, can shoulder the burden of life only to the extent that he knows he can go to the death."I remember one occasion when I walked for three hours in Luxembourg with an engineer who wanted to commit suicide. I finally convinced him not to. I told him that the important thing was to have conceived the idea, knowing free. I think the idea of ​​suicide is the only thing that makes life bearable, but must know how to take advantage, do not rush to draw such conclusions. It is a very useful idea: should make us lessons in schools! "IronyThe irony able to grasp the absurdity of life saves Cioran and his readers by pessimism and nihilism. The irony and humor that accompanies it make tolerable existence that sometimes appears paradoxical giving a new rational sense from which to start living again without cheating."There is nothing to justify the fact of living. Now headed to limit yourself you can still invoke arguments, causes, effects, moral considerations, etc.? Certainly not. To live not remain then that reasons groundless. At the height of despair, only the passion of the absurd can illuminate a light demonic chaos. When all ideal current - moral, aesthetic, religious, social, etc.-they do not know to give life a direction or find a purpose, save it as yet from nowhere? It can only succeed by clinging to the absurd, absolute futility, something, that is, that has no consistency, but whose fiction can create an illusion of life "Show, do not explainThe philosophical system of Cioran is to deny the system, the rules, the academic formalism: does not pretend to explain and demonstrate but only to show what life is talking about himself as a man and not the abstract humanity.Various and seemingly incompatible are the ways of thinking that he runs:

physiology mystical (in Tears and Saints);
the history and philosophy (in History and Utopia);
literature (in exercises of admiration);
religion (in the deadly demiurge);but they all lead to one result: failure that marks all life and gives it meaning. Emil M. Cioran (Răşinari, April 8, 1911 - Paris, June 20, 1995) was a philosopher, essayist and aphorist Romanian, among the most influential of the twentieth century.From 1933 to 1935 he lived in Berlin and the second world war he resided in France with the status of stateless persons; He wrote the first books in Romanian, but by the end of the war onwards always wrote in French and, although it was not his idiom of birth, is considered by many one of the best, if not the best, in this language prose writer of all time .Near the existentialist thought, however it deviates from French existentialist movement because of its distance from the main ideological leaders such as Jean-Paul Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir and Albert Camus, refusing the active political commitment on the progressive front, and sharing the philosophy of the absurd his friend Eugene Ionesco, but charging it with extreme pessimism. Cioran is in fact influenced by Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Heidegger (which compared to the technicality of the latter will accrue an extreme reaction) and later by Leopardi (although, by his own admission, never deeply known, but warned that "brother of choice ", from which he draws his nihilism and his pessimism. His aphorisms, even for personal experiences, are in fact imbued with a deep bitterness and misanthropy, but are tempered by his acute irony and his writing skills.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Am I Normal?

A more organic take on human nature is emerging. It sees behavior as a product of distinct personality traits that we all have to a greater or lesser degree. In this new view, we're all just a little bit crazy.
They call him "the Shark."
Bill, a 26-year-old lawyer, is proud of his nickname and the ruthlessness that inspired it. Confident and charming, he can also be arrogant, manipulative and deceptive—though he sees nothing wrong with these qualities, useful as they are in winning cases and attracting women. Lately, however, Bill's character has been landing him in trouble. He's begun abusing cocaine. He can't resist the temptations of strip clubs and casinos. He's already been married and divorced twice. Even his successful career has been endangered by his habit of propositioning female coworkers. Bill is bothered enough that he pays a visit to a psychologist's office. There he's told that he has an "antisocial" personality: He consistently, and often unscrupulously, places his own interests above those of others. Bill's antisocial tendencies pervade his entire way of being—just as someone with a narcissistic personality can't see past his own grandiosity or someone with an obsessive-compulsive personality can't lift her eyes from her meticulous, exacting tasks.
The idea that human nature can be refracted through personality traits—distinct clusters of thoughts and feelings that color all of a person's actions—has been around a long time. But it is gaining new momentum. For one thing, it gives us a high-definition picture of human character and its variety. It also encourages renewed appreciation for the diversity of influences on behavior, from genes to lifestyles. As a result, the new view of personality heralds a revolution in how we view disorder, marking a shift away from rigid categories of pathology to a more organic sense of the way individuals fit in their world. After all, aren't lawyers supposed to be aggressive? Aren't, say, actors almost universally narcissistic? Aren't accountants and copy editors rewarded for their compulsive attention to detail?
For many years, serious problems of character and personality were believed to be relatively rare. What's more, they were regarded as virtually untreatable—and bereft of any benefit or utility. Personality disorders were sequestered on their own island of pathology.
But a flood of new theories, surveys and techniques is sweeping aside the old assumptions about problematic personalities. Dysfunctional personalities actually appear to be quite common, affecting more than 30 million Americans—about one person in seven. This increased awareness of the prevalence of personality problems is stimulating breakthroughs in understanding and treating them, as well as a dawning realization that what we call mental illness might once have had, and may still serve, highly adaptive functions. Most surprising of all, researchers are accumulating evidence that the line between normal and abnormal personality is much more subtle than anyone imagined. Which may mean that our conception of mental illness is due for a revision—and that we "normal" people are all just a little bit crazy. From Quirk to Quagmire Central to the emerging perspective is a distinction between personality styles and personality disorders. Any specific pattern of thinking and feeling may be expressed as a healthy, though perhaps quirky, personality style, or it may be expressed more floridly as a clinically diagnosable personality disorder. Psychologists recognize 10 different personality types that, when manifest in intense form, represent 10 distinct personality disorders.
People with an avoidant personality, for example, may be homebodies who like routine and cherish a few intimates, or they may shun people for fear of rejection and avoid risk-taking or new activities for fear of the humiliation of failure. The former have an avoidant personality style, the latter an avoidant personality disorder. Likewise, people with a histrionic personality may merely enjoy attention and be entertainingly dramatic, although able to cede the stage to others when appropriate. Those with histrionic personality disorder insist on being the center of attention and have emotional problems as well; their feelings are shallow and ever-shifting, and they may have difficulty intimately connecting with others.
So what's the difference between a personality disorder and a personality style? One gauge is, simply, extremity: The personality disordered think, feel and act in ways that are at the outer edge of what most people experience. A second guideline is inflexibility. Says Randolph Nesse, a psychiatrist at the University of Michigan: "Most of us are angry sometimes and loving sometimes, nice sometimes and mean sometimes. But people with personality disorders keep doing the same things over and over again.
Their emotional palette isn't varied; it's monochromatic." They get stuck, unable to respond fluidly to changing circumstances. Their daily functioning is also impaired. A clinician evaluating someone for a personality disorder would ask two key questions: Has the patient's personality contributed to a loss of relationships? Has it contributed to career failure? Thomas Widiger, a University of Kentucky psychologist who diagnosed Bill the Shark, adds a subjective measure: How much distress is a person feeling as a result of his personality problems? If these distinctions seem less black-and-white than shades of gray, they are. And in fact, many psychologists are shifting from the old you-have-it-or-you-don't perspective on personality disorders (the "categorical" model) to the more nuanced "dimensional" model. In it, personality is located along a continuum, with healthy personality traits at one end, personality disorders at the other—and innumerable gradations in between.
The dividing line between normal and abnormal becomes much less important in the new dimensional model, and some proponents refuse to recognize one at all. "I don't think it is useful to draw a line," declares Johns Hopkins University psychiatrist Gerald Neustadt. "What is the purpose of having a diagnosis? Ultimately, it's to treat people, to help them. So when someone comes to you with a problem in the personality domain, you try to understand his traits and how they are getting him into trouble." What counts most is recognizing that the patient's difficulty does indeed lie within the "personality domain," says Neustadt. Problems of personality are different in nature from other kinds of mental disorder, such as a sudden onset of depression or anxiety. Character disorders are more deeply rooted, broader and more encompassing—and more intractable, because they are so intimately related to a person's very self.
But the implications of the new work on personality disorders go far beyond parochial diagnostic matters. It represents a sea of change in how we view psychological health and illness. As Thomas Widiger says, "The patterns found in personality disorders really are traits that are distributed throughout the population, and we all have them to greater or lesser degree." The new research suggests that psychopathology is not alien and unfamiliar but rather recognizably human, an extension of what we all experience. That could soften the stigma that still attaches to mental illness.
Just as we may see something of ourselves in the volatile diva or the misanthropic recluse, we may also embrace the extreme, the flagrant, the florid in our own characters. The new work on personality disorders might allow us to rescue an array of traits and behaviors—the high spirits of a borderline personality, the single-minded intensity of an obsessive-compulsive—from the "pathological" category in which they've been deposited and reclaim them as rich additions to healthy human variety.

Context, Context, Context

Personality disorders contribute an important insight to reformulated ideas of mental health: Context is everything. Behavior that creates havoc in one situation may be celebrated in another, and finding the right niche may mean—for any one of us—the difference between psychological health and sickness. From this perspective, personality problems are not burdens we carry wherever we go but latent vulnerabilities that are exacerbated by specific environments. They are also potential assets.
Randolph Nesse offers an example. "Imagine a very dramatic woman—in DSM language, a 'histrionic' individual. If she goes to work for an accounting company, chances are she'll have lots of trouble, because she's more interested in impressions than details and because she's likely to be more impulsive and more emotionally expressive than the others who work there. She gets thrown out of the job, gets really depressed and shows up at the office of a therapist, who says, 'It's your personality that's the problem; you have a personality disorder.' Now imagine that same woman in the artistic world, where her attributes are actually an advantage. She'd be doing beautifully, would not show up at a psychologist's office and would not be diagnosed with a personality disorder. Yet this is the same person with the same constellation of traits—just two different contexts." The importance of specialized niches turns up again in investigations of the origins of personality disorders. One provocative notion emerging from evolutionary psychology is that many of the behaviors found in personality disorders—perverse as they may appear to us now—originated as adaptations necessary for survival.
And in fact, looking closely, it's not hard to see the germ of something useful in what on the surface appear to be self-defeating patterns of behavior. Avoidant personality disorder, for example, may be a holdover from a time when strangers posed a very real danger. "The insecurity and nervousness avoidant people feel about approaching others was in some contexts very adaptive," says Widiger. "It helped them develop a sense of caution about entering risky situations and risky relationships." Likewise, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder may be an exaggerated version of the directed and diligent efforts that helped some of our human ancestors thrive. The perfectionism, productivity and skinflint approach to money that characterizes this disorder may be remnants of organizing and hoarding behaviors that prepared communities for times of scarcity, Nesse speculates.
Conversely, some personality patterns may have rewarded the individual at a cost to the larger community. Stealing, cheating and manipulating got for some people what they couldn't obtain by more legitimate means, which may explain why researchers have found a small but stable population of individuals with antisocial personality disorder in societies all over the world. Such personality quirks have persisted because extreme behavior can still work to an individual's advantage. "One of the features of narcissism is enormous confidence and self-esteem," observes Widiger. "It takes a degree of narcissism to continue despite failures and setbacks, and narcissists quite often have very successful careers." People with dependent personality disorder may suffer for their exquisite sensitivity to relationships, says Nesse, "but I bet they make really good friends" and have stronger social networks as a result.

A Rising Tide

That personality disorders once had their uses could explain why they are so prevalent today. The first survey of such conditions conducted in this country concluded that about one in ten Americans suffers from a personality disorder. A much larger survey, based on interviews of more than 43,000 people, released by the National Institutes of Health, put the number at 15 percent—or almost one-sixth of the population. Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is the most common, affecting about 8 percent of all adults; next come paranoid personality disorder at 4.4 percent and antisocial personality disorder at 3.6 percent. Just 0.5 percent was diagnosed with dependent personality disorder, in which a person needs excessive reassurance from others and fears functioning on his or her own.
Personality disorders may afflict 50 percent or more of people currently receiving treatment for any mental health condition. "Most patients who seek assistance are suffering from the difficulties of long-standing maladaptive attitudes and coping styles, essentially what have come to be labeled personality disorders," notes personality researcher-clinician Theodore Millon. "Dysfunctions of personality have become omnipresent" in therapy practices, he says. Millon thinks personality disorders "will outstrip all other areas of psychological and psychiatric practice in the coming decade."

Chipping Away at Disorder

Not long ago, diagnosis of a personality disorder carried a grim outlook. By and large, the only treatment available was long-term psychoanalysis. To eliminate troublesome behaviors, it was believed, you needed to change the underlying traits on which the very structure of personality had been built, day in and day out, through a person's countless interactions with the world. The few who qualified for such demanding therapy didn't necessarily benefit from it. Therapists' general attitude toward these illnesses, says psychiatrist Len Sperry of the Medical College of Wisconsin, was one of "dread and hopelessness."
Gone, along with that approach to treatment, is the Freudian view that inner conflicts arising in childhood are the sole cause. The emerging perspective acknowledges that personality, both normal and abnormal, is a complex interaction of forces inside and outside the individual—biological, psychological and social.
The antisocial personality of Bill the Shark, for example, may have originated in a genetic predisposition to aggressiveness expressed biochemically in low levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin. This inborn temperament might have been aggravated by hostile or irresponsible parenting manifest as Bill was growing up. Bill's antisocial tendencies may have reached full expression and reinforcement in social environments—casinos, strip clubs, law firms—that permitted and even encouraged combative behavior.
New treatments chip away at each element of the biopsychosocial roots of personality disorders. Drugs like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors may act on the biochemical imbalances. Interpersonal and psychodynamic therapies take on the psychological component of the disorder, encouraging the individual to reflect on his past experiences to help release their hold on current behavior. Cognitive-behavioral and dialectical exercises (in which the person learns to challenge his own impulses) seek to shift the pattern of external rewards and punishments in favor of more controlled and constructive conduct. The new integrative paradigm, Sperry reports, has transformed clinicians' attitudes from hopelessness to optimism. From the start, Bill the Shark's antisocial personality traits presented special challenges. He "had little desire for psychological growth or moral self-improvement," Widiger notes, and his glib cockiness made genuine rapport difficult to achieve. Widiger instead took advantage of Bill's ambitious and competitive nature by challenging him to come up with ways to limit his drug use and his gambling. Using approaches borrowed from cognitive-behavioral therapy, psychologist and patient devised personal mantras that Bill would repeat to himself when faced with a temptation. "These mantras might have sounded superficial to others," Widiger acknowledges, but to Bill "they were effective, meaningful, even inspirational."
Widiger made a concerted effort not to react with judgment or disapproval when Bill regaled him with tales of his unsavory exploits. As Bill grew more comfortable, he was able to examine the roots of his behavior, coming to terms with his parents' failings and considering ways to rectify his own. Though still far from sensitive or empathetic, Bill began to recognize how hurtful his actions were to himself and to others. His essential nature was not changed by therapy, says Widiger, but he was able to smooth "the rougher edges of his personality."
Len Sperry uses an identical metaphor to describe the treatment of patients like Bill. "The clinician working with personality-disordered individuals is not a carpenter who rebuilds a structure," he notes, "but is rather like a cabinetmaker who sands down and takes the rough edges off." Ultimately, he adds, the goal is to turn a personality disorder into a personality style—to help the personality-disordered patient become a functioning, healthy human being, with quirks and idiosyncrasies intact. A person, that is, a lot like you and me.

Monday, January 4, 2016

10 Signs You Are In a Relationship with a Narcissist


Being in a relationship with a narcissist is very emotionally draining and can impact your mental health. You find that you feel guilty for things that aren't really your fault. You find that what your partner told you last week is now denied by them this week.
Keep in mind that these 10 signs of a narcissist don't happen right away - they can come on slowly. The beginning of a relationship with a narcissist is usually fast-paced and the narcissist tells you are the best thing that has ever happened to them. However, things start to change.

1. You are being isolated from your family and friends.
"Why do you need to visit your aunt? You visited her last month."
"She's still in the hospital."
"Like I said, you visited her last month."
Time you spend away from the narcissist is time that they can start to become unglued. Projection is one of the hallmark signs of the narcissist. If they are cheating (more common with narcissists than in others), they will accuse you of cheating. These accusations ramp up when you go out of town or engage in an activity without them. Also, time away means less attention for them.

2.  They try to pit you against others.  
The narcissist will use phrases like, "Everyone knows that you aren't good to me"; "Sally said that I should just leave you, she knows what you are like"; "Harry said he'd be happy to be with me".
Keep in mind that "everyone", "Sally", and "Harry" may not have said those things.  It is a way for the narcissist to gain control, make you feel "less than", and isolate you from others.
When you confront Sally and Harry, they tell you they never said anything of the sort to the narcissist.  When you confront the narcissist, they say "Of course they told you they never said that.  How stupid of you to ask."

3. The rules apply to you, not them.
They cheated - and you are expected to forgive them. If you hadn't spend so much time with the kids, the narcissist says, they would have gotten their needs met and they wouldn't have cheated. However, in a healthy relationship you would communicate about not having your needs met instead of cheating. Also, you will never meet the narcissist's needs - it is a bottomless pit of need. And if you so much as look at another person, the narcissist questions your fidelity and may resort to calling you names. (See "projection" above.)

4. You never seem good enough.
They say they cheated on you because you weren't as fun anymore. "It's your fault" is a common theme of the narcissist - they may say it directly or indirectly. When the initial "honeymoon" phase of a relationship ends (as it does in all relationships), the narcissist starts looking for ways you can improve. They also tend to comment on your appearance, sometimes in direct ways "That outfit looks terrible" or in indirect ways "What's that spot on your face?"

5. You get "pay back" for defying them.
If you break the narcissist's rules, get ready for the blowback. Narcissists will let you know when they've suffered a "narcissistic injury." As with an abusive relationship, blow-ups are followed by reconciliation. However, keep in mind that when you reconcile with the narcissist, the next blowup (and it's coming) will be bigger than the last one. Each time there is a blowup, emotional abuse may start ramping into verbal abuse - and then ramp up into physical abuse.

6. They are competitive - to a fault.
They find out you are a good singer - they start singing in a band. You tell them that you aren't feeling well. All of a sudden they get sicker than you. They may point out that they are better than you at something - and they may say it in front of other people. They tell you they know more about therapy than your therapist.  Being better that the narcissist at something is not an option for them.
Narcissists tend to spend an excessive amount of time on their appearance and looking at themselves in the mirror.  They will flex their muscles for no apparent reason.  A narcissist can't just walk by a mirror - they have to stop and look.  They want to make sure they are the most attractive person.

7. They tell you others are out to get them.
Those jerky coworkers of theirs just don't know greatness when they see it - it can't possibly be that they just have reached their limit with the narcissist. You know how their sister forgot their birthday? It couldn't possibly be because she is in the hospital giving birth. "It's obvious," the narcissist says, "that she is just a b***h." It is never the narcissist's fault. Narcissists have ego-syntonic behavior - they think everyone else has the problem, not them. Read next about the narcissist using degrading words when referring to others.

8. They describe their exes in unflattering or degrading terms.
When someone consistently refers to their exes as "that b****h" or talks about how the ex did them wrong in all of their relationships, there's a common theme there - the narcissist. Degrading terms tend to be used by the narcissist when talking about past relationships. Also keep an eye out for any stories of past relationships where the narcissist says it was all the ex's fault.

9. They use the silent treatment.
In a healthy relationship, sometimes people need a "time out" to collect their thoughts or calm down. In a short period of time, they are ready to connect with their partner and/or talk things out. With "silent treatment," the narcissist just plain refuses to communicate with you. This is a way to get power and control, and throw you off-kilter. Sometimes the silent treatment occurs after the narcissist feels like you have slighted them in some way. However, they don't tell you why you're getting the silent treatment, and you really have no idea what caused it.

10. Your needs are met with silence, or you just get lip service.
"Can you help me with the kids' science projects tonight? I've had a long day at work."
"Hey, did you hear me? I need your help."
"Yeah, sure, I'll do it."
*Narcissist remains seated on the couch*
Either your requests for help are ignored, or the narcissist tells you they will help and never follow through. Pay attention to the difference in the narcissist's talk and their actions. There's usually a big difference between the two.

If you find you are in a relationship with a narcissist, seek the help of a mental health clinician for individual therapy. Narcissists can be volatile, so if you feel you or your children's safety is being compromised, contact your local domestic violence hotline or shelter. (link is external)

Copyright 2015 Sarkis Media 

Friday, January 1, 2016

Subliminal Vision Boards

Subliminal Vision Boards, LLC, a technological app company has created an easy, affordable Android app utilizing the powerful combination of subliminal messaging and the manifesting tool of vision boards to help users create the life they desire.


CHARLOTTE, N.C., Jan. 1, 2016  -- Subliminal Vision Boards, LLC is launching a new Android app that combines the power of subliminal messaging and the manifesting tool of vision boards. The app will enable users to easily visualize their goals, connect emotionally, and manifest their desires into existence.

There is no better time than the New Year to create a vision board for achieving career, money, love and life goals. Subliminal Vision Boards' app can harness the intention of New Year's resolutions into real manifesting power to achieve life goals in 2016. With the Law of Attraction and the Subliminal Vision Boards' app, users can easily and efficiently visualize and attract all they desire.
The five steps to achieving life goals include deciding the goals, displaying imagery reflecting those goals, connecting emotionally, visualizing the goals coming into being, and repeating the process until achievement. The app displays the images that reflect their dreams and life goals, creates the emotional connection necessary and uses daily subliminal visualization, which taps into the hidden potential of the subconscious mind.
For only five minutes a day using the Subliminal Take 5 feature, the user's images and affirmations are flashed at a speed where only the subconscious mind picks them up, manifesting their goals and dreams at an exponential rate.
"This is a brand new concept of combining the power of vision boards with the hidden potential of the subconscious mind," says Jennifer Casolary of the Subliminal Vision Boards app. "This app allows you to supercharge the hidden potential that is in all of us, and we hope all that utilize the app have fun creating their future."
The app is completely customizable, allowing users to create and save unlimited boards including friendship, money, love, vacation or business boards. The vision boards can be easily shared on social media, and there is even the option to send one as a gift via email or text.  Implementing a daily positive practice of using Subliminal Vision Boards' app, a user will begin to shift and raise their energetic vibration so that they can manifest their life goals and dreams into a reality. The app is $5.95 at the Google Play Store with an iOS version coming out soon.
For more information about the app and its unique features, visit
About Subliminal Vision Boards, LLC
Subliminal Vision Boards, LLC is a technological app company that wants to help people create the life they desire by unleashing the power of the subconscious mind. The company recently launched their new app, which combines subliminal messaging and the manifesting tool of vision boards helping users create the life they desire.
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SOURCE Subliminal Vision Boards, LLC