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Showing posts from February, 2016

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5 Steps to Take Before Starting a New Relationship

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Forget “The Rules." Stop believing “He’s just not into you." In fact, skip all the self-help confusion that instructs you on how to morph yourself into the perfect match for Mr. (or Ms.) Right.
People who are genuinely happy with their romantic choices spend more energy working on their own self-development than on appearing a certain way to attract love. Instead of focusing on playing the game to entice a partner, put your focus on these five principles and, over time, the right match for you will present itself:
1. Understand yourself, sexually and emotionally. If you have not done the work of understanding yourself emotionally and sexually, you will enter romantic relationships from an emotionally dependent place. You may have the unrealistic hope that someone else will know how to understand you and make you happy—even when you, yourself, may not know. Directly communicating to your partners about your emotions and your sexual side is important; hoping other…

The sex Myth

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Sex is the purest form of self-expression, the most intimate way two people can give their love to each other—and when it goes wrong, it disrupts the entire relationship. What many couples forget is how deeply sex ripples out to the farthest reaches of their love. Every couple has less sex as time goes on, and that's not always a problem in itself. But if one partner longs for sex and the other doesn't want it, that's the most dire of relationship emergencies and requires immediate and zealous attention. Sex produces physical bonding that's unique, special, and important. In relationships, sex isn't just the icing on the cake. It is the cake.
Myth #1: A woman's hormones are the main driver of her desire. Many people assume that if a woman rarely wants sex, it means there's something wrong with her libido—and that she needs medical treatment. "The biggest misconception is that low sexual desire is all hormonal," says Juan J. Remos, a doct…

Sex: The Love Limit

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Can you max out on sex's body benefits? By Lauren F. Friedman
Regular sex (and its primary side effect, orgasm) brings serious health benefits: It can cure insomnia, relieve pain, and reduce the risk of cancer, heart disease, depression, Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, bladder problems, and more, research suggests. Its power stems mostly from its aerobic element and stress-relieving effects. "You can't be worrying about a problem when you're having an orgasm," points out psychologist Laurie Mintz, author of A Tired Woman's Guide to Passionate Sex.
If sex is a wonder drug, though, few researchers are working out the best dosage—the amount needed for maximum benefit. While large studies examining orgasms' effects on mortality and health frequently find a linear relationship (more sex, better health, period), the research often deems two or more orgasms per week "frequent." Might an upper limit exist, unnoticed at the extreme e…

Silence: A Relationship Killer

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Mel Schwartz L.C.S.W. A Shift of Mind Silence: A Relationship Killer
Over the many years that I’ve been practicing therapy, I’ve found that couples that are struggling in their relationships often succumb to the default mode of silence. Sometimes, it’s one person who defers to the unspoken, and at times it’s actually both. In either circumstance, such silence—not a healthy pause or meditative break—speaks to the absence of verbal and emotional intimacy. Unless we’re communicating on levels of extra sensory perception or body language, words are the only tools available to us to communicate let alone resolve our issues. There’s little sense to being in a relationship and resorting to silence. Not only does it sabotage the lifeline of a healthy coupling, it chokes your expressive needs.
When you can express what you’re feeling—in the moment that you’re experiencing it—there’s much less likelihood that you’ll act out on that feeling. Problematic feelings that go unexpressed te…