Tuesday, December 27, 2016

What is Talionic thinking/why do people with BPD say horrible things?

Talionic (eye for an eye) thinking explains a bit why when people with a personality disorder rage they say horrible things.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

The art of Antonio Leone


  By Anna Maria Rizzato
Antonio Leone's art comes from the Greek world.
He follows the fundamental rules settled by Policleto for the harmonious proportions and look at the Hellenic sculptures, for their extreme dynamism in the bodies postures and the astonishing realism of facial’s expression.
However Master Leone is a son of his time and in the past forty years he had kept on growing, creating his own identity on his profession.
His growth follows the sculpture’s developments in the medieval and Romanesque period and the influence of the latter shows in his altar-frontals and high-relieves.
In his journey across centuries, he almost goes beyond Renaissance to reach quickly Baroque, in accordance with his disposition.
His sculpture is at the same time strong, visceral and emphatic.
In the Priolo’s church , as a matter of fact, the bas-relieves are strong, spiritual figures, visceral at times, speaking to a group of faithful people and exclusively in a decorative language.
His work feed on Neoclassicism and look at Canova to learn how to give the beauty of the Greek statues to his own work, with a touch of epidermic sensuality and grace. 
On his journey across the centuries the self-taught Master "discovers" the meaning of plasticity. The sculpture of Master Antonio Leone is the continuous search of a breath of life to infuse into the cold marble, creating still figures ready to live.
To reach gracefulness, he follows the footsteps of the great Michelangelo, by rough-casting the marble, drawing his own dream of an image.

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Compulsive lying

By F.Guzzardi

People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often have trouble relating to other people, causing instability in their interpersonal relationships. If you have BPD, you may feel as though you need to secure extra assurance from others to help you maintain your relationships, which can result in the impulse to lie. Compulsive lying, or mythomania, can be common in people with Borderline Personality Disorder. This is because people with BPD are often very afraid of abandonment and disapproval, and will do whatever it takes to make sure neither of those things happens.
If you have Borderline Personality Disorder and have been at fault, perhaps for a car accident or mishap at work, you may have tried to pass the buck or rationalize the mistake while you are desperately trying to avoid being viewed in a negative light. Many Shades of Lies Manipulation can take many forms.
You might think of compulsive lying as the fabrication of elaborate stories that are easily debunked and taken to be ridiculous among peers. However, compulsive liars can be much more subtle and trickier to figure out. If you have Borderline Personality Disorder with a habit of lying, you may have found that others have lost their trust in you by degrees instead of after one particular incident of dishonesty. Some forms of lying prevalent in people with BPD include the following: Faking a medical condition in order to reduce responsibility Carrying on close personal or romantic relationships strictly for personal gain Blaming tardiness on children, a faulty car, or other fictitious circumstances Contributing imaginary information to a friendly conversation Avoiding embarrassment by giving incorrect but convenient answers to simple questions (for example, telling someone you parked in the lot they told you about when in fact you couldn’t find the lot or forgot about it) It’s All in Your Brain The tendency to compulsively lie may be attributed to the structure of your brain. A recent study conducted at the University of Southern California (USC) shows that if you have a history of lying, your brain might actually be structured differently than that of a person who is generally honest. White matter in the prefrontal cortex (the front part of your brain) is responsible for masterminding a lie, which includes weighing how the other party will respond and suppressing your own emotions to limit or eliminate the appearance of nervousness.

Gray matter is the substance that curbs the impulse to lie to make things easier and holds people to their principles. In the USC study, compulsive liars showed a higher percentage of white matter and a deficit of gray matter. Is Honesty the Best Policy? We uphold myths of George Washington confessing to chopping down the cherry tree and Abraham Lincoln walking miles to return something that didn’t belong to him as symbols of our cultural principles. While it is true that very few people go through life being completely honest — and there are times when a fib can save lives or help children cope through difficult times — compulsive lying can ruin your career, relationships, sense of well-being, and self-esteem. The key is to learn to tolerate the stress that being honest can bring on, particularly the uncertainty of whether the other person will still like you if you confess to the truth. For people with Borderline Personality Disorder, these are skills that can be worked on in therapy, especially with Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), which strengthens these very abilities.

Friday, December 16, 2016

Personality Disorder Diagnoses : Pros and Cons

Recently, I received an email asking about the significance of an actual personality disorder diagnosis in a divorce or custody case:
How helpful are psych evaluations in custody and divorce cases? Does it matter if you can get a personality disorder diagnosis, or is it ultimately irrelevant—unless it’s accompanied by severe acting out (e.g., hitting the kids, drugs, arrests, suicide attempts, etc.)?
The short answer to the question is: It depends, but with or without a diagnosis, it is critical that the Judge be informed of the disordered behaviors in detail.
Dr. Tara Palmatier
1. No-fault divorce. The disordered behaviors are typically much more relevant in the context of a child custody case, as opposed to a divorce without minor children. Although jurisdictions vary in terms of the grounds for divorce and the extent to which “fault” influences a property division, the trend is towards “no-fault” divorce, which translates roughly to an equal division of property as a starting point. Most, if not all, people who are in the middle of a divorce could make a long list of their spouse’s faults and deficiencies. Presumably, there’s been some bad behavior on all sides. Judges know this and they have heard it all. Therefore, most judges, in my experience, tend not to be too persuaded by tales of misbehavior when it comes time to divide property.
There are exceptions, however.
2. Impact on marital property division. If there has been a pattern of severe physical abuse, that is a circumstance that could influence the Judge to award a disproportionate share of property to the victim spouse. This happens very rarely as far as I have seen.
If one spouse has been a serial cheater the whole marriage while the other spouse made a lot of sacrifices for the marriage, that could also affect a property division. If one spouse squandered marital property or ran up an unreasonable amount of debt because of a gambling habit . . . you get the idea. Really bad behaviors towards one’s spouse could give a judge a reason to give a disproportionate award of marital property, but this is not common, at least in the jurisdiction in which I practice.
Child Custody Determinations
1. Cluster B behaviors are relevant. In a custody battle, abusive Cluster B behaviors are very relevant to the decision of which parent should be the children’s primary caretaker. Up until very recently, custody was nearly almost always automatically awarded to the mother, irrespective of her behavior. Overall, there  is still a bias in favor of mothers, but it’s not as automatic as it once was.
In my practice, I see a fairly even split between mothers and fathers being awarded primary custody. While there are many other factors  that influence a custody determination, including the age of the child, the child’s preference, special needs, parents’ work schedules, flexibility, and a parent’s willingness and ability to work jointly with the other parent, the determining factor typically comes down to the bad behaviors of the parents.
2. Proving your case (with or without a psychological evaluation). If your children’s mother has a variety of Cluster B traits, then there is likely plenty of bad behavior that you’ll want to make known to the Judge. The problem is, evidence of bad Cluster B behavior is too often left to a He-Said-She-Said presentation in court. That simply won’t work!
If  your kids’ mother exhibits Cluster B behaviors, you absolutely must document them as they happen, save every email and text message, record phone conversations, if that is legal in your jurisdiction (check your laws or speak with an attorney), and always have another person with you when you have to interact with her face to face so you can call that person as a witness to testify about outrageous behaviors witnessed.
3. Psychological evaluations: a double-edged sword. Aside from documenting, recording, and having witnesses to your interactions, you may wonder also if a psychological examination is your key to proving what a crazy ***** your wife/ex-wife is. If her psychological functioning is an issue in a custody battle, you can almost certainly have a psychological evaluation ordered by he court (you will probably also have to submit to one).
Psychological evaluations can be a double-edged sword. First and foremost, I would caution you guys that you should never expect an outright diagnosis of a personality disorder from a court ordered psychological evaluation. Very, very rarely is a diagnosis of PD given as the result of a court-ordered psychological evaluation.
This may be because the criteria for the diagnosis are not very well defined, and there’s also an unstated presumption that people are always a little crazy when they’re involved in that kind of litigation. Additionally, there seems to be a  pretty pervasive reluctance for professionals to use those labels even when they’re warranted. More typically, the evaluator might say that someone exhibits borderline “traits” or narcissistic “traits,” if they even go that far.
If you are relying on a psychological evaluation to prove your ex is “crazy,” you’re likely setting yourself up for defeat. Without solid proof of the bad behaviors, the psychological evaluation could actually hurt your case. If you have an evaluator who either doesn’t find a personality disorder or is reluctant to label it as such for the reasons discussed above, then you end up with a psychological evaluation that seemingly portrays your crazy ex as mentally and behaviorally stable and healthy. There goes your whole case.


Even if a psychologist does give an actual diagnosis of a personality disorder, in and of itself that is pretty meaningless to a Judge. You are going to have to tie the diagnosis to the particular conduct that has caused problems and you’ll need to have your own expert to testify that the history of these behaviors reliably predicts that the behaviors will continue into the future, thus putting your kids at risk if they are left in her primary care.
4. Paint a complete picture for the Judge. The fact is, the diagnosis is not really important. It’s the behaviors themselves that are important. The behaviors do not have to be as extreme as hitting the kids or severe neglect in order for a Judge to be influenced. If a stable and pervasive pattern of the bad behaviors is proven, that’s what matters and that’s what will make an impression on the Judge, even if  the individual behaviors are not that significant on their own. The reason it’s important to have a psych expert at trial is not so much to interpret or reveal test results, but to put this pattern of bad behavior in context and give a professional opinion about the effect it will have on the kids.
Consider this example: If you have a mother who forgets to pick up her kids from school fairly regularly and the school has to call Dad to come get them; and Mom sends the kids to school without lunches and with dirty or ill-fitting clothes; and Mom can’t get them to school on time pretty regularly; and doesn’t go to their football games or dance recitals; and breaks promises and leaves the kids disappointed; and refuses to allow any flexibility in scheduling Dad’s time with kids; and talks bad about Dad to the kids; and “forgets” to tell Dad about doctor appointments; and leaves kids at home while she goes out drinking; and moves three times in one year; and refuses to get a job; and doesn’t monitor homework or make sure the kids are prepared for school; and introduces the kids to a new “serious” boyfriend every other week (allowing the kids to get attached to someone they’ll never see again after week 3); and so on and so forth.
Any of these behaviors in isolation may not be enough to persuade a judge to change custody, but when you add them together, you get a whole way of behaving across the spectrum that’s harmful to the kids. Whether you call it “irresponsibility” or “borderline personality disorder,” an expert will be able to describe the predictable effect these behaviors will have on the child’s emotional development if it is allowed to continue.
Personality Disorder Diagnoses in Family and Divorce Court: Pros and Cons A Judge will recognize the pattern as one of instability, which equates to harm for the child.
Check Yourself
A word of caution about psychological evaluations: if the Judge orders her to undergo an evaluation, he will more than likely order you to undergo an evaluation as well. No problem, you say? Think again. If you have been terrorized by an abusive wife for years, it has affected you. You have had to develop some kind of coping strategy just to get by; your thinking has likely become distorted; and you may have lost perspective about what “normal” really is. Maybe you’ve even developed a complex stress disorder as a consequence of the hell you’ve lived through—it’s not uncommon. You’re getting healthier now, but it takes time to recover from repeated trauma.
There’s no telling how this may reflect in a standardized psychological battery of tests, but the standardized test won’t tell the real tale or apportion responsibility and it won’t tell the judge that your psychological functioning is understandable and even predictable in view of the extreme treatment you’ve been subjected to. In this manner, court-ordered psych evaluations for both parents might be more harmful to your case.
In addition, “normal” people do not react well to the stress of ongoing litigation. Sometimes the litigation compounds or even causes a PTSD-like response. But HCP’s enjoy and thrive on the conflict — while you’re crumbling, your ex is in her element and cool as a cucumber. These unfortunate realities could very well reflect poorly on you and favorably on your crazy ex on a standardized psychological test.
For these reasons, you should be very cautious and deliberate about a request that the Judge order psych evaluations.
Bottom Line
1. A diagnosed personality disorder will likely have little or no impact on a divorce without minor children.
2. In child custody litigation, Cluster B behaviors are relevant and must be proven with evidence supporting your testimony (e.g., journals, recordings, emails, phone logs, text messages, other witnesses, etc.)
3. Psychological evaluations are risky and could end up hurting your case.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

The renewal of the changing things


By F. Guzzardi
Are the things that change, they have the sense of memory, they feed on illusions and the things he stay, are the genetic ego appendices, that brings us to always to err. This is an extract of a memories of Italian emigrants in America but it could be another people, one at random, Syrian, Palestinian or otherwise. It is a piece of an old story, too old, already forgotten and renewed in other sauces, more modern, adapted to the cycle of life.

In history and geography (for school use) written

by a Hendrick Villen Von Loon published in Philadelphia

in 1922, we read: "The Greeks had their rivals. We call

Romans these rivals. Now you see them every day. They will not win

over the world as their ancestors, but they are dirty and work on the railways or sell bananas and hazelnuts. "

   A teacher from "Western Review" gave his students the following theme: "Tell me the reasons of the inferiority of Italian Americans."

An official of the city of Cleveland, invited to speak

a church said: "The violators of the law of prohibition (of

alcoholic beverages) are for the most part Italian. I would put

these people on boats and drown them in the open sea. "

And similar examples can be cited to hundreds!

To all this is added the deep ethnic reason of envy,

and many times of hate, which surround the Italian

American, and that goes back to the cosmopolitan character of the same population

of the country.

The United States can not encamp

its own breed. Only now van doing cyclopic efforts to form

a typical nationalities, all its own. Peoples of all races and

nation have come here, and they keep coming. So far the country has

status field of huge competitions races. By the various unions

is the present generation of this country where the population,

Americanized by the Government's efforts, it has so far

tried to devise laws and dictate orders such as to maintain

the national team and at the same time, not to hurt

interests, susceptibility and sentimentality of the peoples

from various races.

 In a population so made of mixtures, the stronger

one who wins and dominating. The imposition until now was dictated

mostly by the Anglo-Saxons; For some time the Irish

a looked down upon daily (like today are the Italians) have

advanced followed immediately by the Germans; even the Polish overlook

horizon of public life; on of all, then, extend

the tentacles of the Jewish race that, in this country, has finally

found the Eldorado of her miseries.

Of course, the racial prejudice, jealousy, fear,

overt and covert hostility of other nations who fear our

genius and who see in us a strong race are the influences

always ready to exaggerate our faults, to expose ourselves in the most

light left, in that while, with deliberate malice, it ignores or

misrepresents what we back to the glory and honor.

 It 'a continuous work of "devaluation" of all things, or firm,

or high Italian event, which will work, however, and

anywhere, against us.

The life of Italian in America, therefore, in the last fifty

years or so, it was all very sad odyssey.

This our poor emigration not recorded in the book of

his story of pain pages. The most violent explosions

xenophobia of the indigenous population (which usually moves

to delirium for the suffering of a dog, a cat or a horse)

They beat on stray scions of our race. IS'

amazing the barbaric persecution who often were made

sign, the drunken mob of hatred and revenge, to the smallest,

insignificant, silly pretext, the Italians.
 It 'a fact that our derelict, eternally wandering population

It was a victim of savage persecution, relentless, unremitting:

by criminal events in New Orleans, where several

tens of Italians were killed, the poor worker harassed,

insulted, beaten, killed, in the mines, for the campaigns,

in factories; by lynchings newspapers in the Southern states,

the cowardly assaults against the derelict "guinea", the ferocious fighter

the victim "dago" in the streets of populous cities,

up to stunning, tragic events Ides West Frankfort, Illinois
- Recently - when a whole Italian Cologne (mostly

composed of Emiliani and Marchiggiani) he had to leave

his roof, his bread, his cattle, all the precious things of

his new life, raising arms to his patients, his women,

his oldest, her children, and go up the street of the Calvary, in the dark,

into the unknown, leaving behind a trail of blood, poor

bodies torn to pieces by the furious rabble, who urged even,

relentless! ... The same thing happened - very recently - in Beaverdale,

 We remember that in 1915 a whole honest and industrious colony

It was in danger of terrible punishment if they did not let

Bedford, Indiana; in the State of Mississippi our workers in

1913 were themselves the object of cruel torture and the Italian children

It was even forbidden, as the Japanese and the Chinese, in California

and elsewhere, to attend public schools. countryman

who dared to raise his voice, protesting, it was hanged!

Monday, December 5, 2016

Operation Minerva

by F. Guzzardi
This compelling crime novel is based on six true stories, told by the very same financiers and archeologists who experienced them. They portray the difficult job of A.R.T., the Art Recovery Team of Italy's Finance Police, in its daily battle against art traffickers. The protagonists are the young Marshal Sergio, the captivating Lieutenant Giulio and the omniscient Commander. Their enemies are grave robbers, art traffickers, delinquents and counterfeiters. The everyday experiences of the three main characters involve family, love, friendship, but also life and death. Every day they risk their lives in order to protect and recover Italy's artistic patrimony, which is dispersed illegally throughout the world. Broken-into necropolises, stolen treasures, dangerous investigations, mystery, action, intelligence and avant-garde technology all play a role in combatting the world's third biggest illegal market: art trafficking, the scope of which pales only in comparison to the trafficking of drugs and arms. The #1 book inspired by stories of art stolen in Italy and recovered by the Guardia di Finanza, Italy's Finance Police.

Published in 2014 simultaneously in Italy and America, thanks to the translation by David A. Masters, the first novel of a criminal investigation, freely inspired by the events of the Protection of the Archaeological Heritage Group of Guardia di Finanza, narrated from the voice of the protagonists: men in gray-green every day in the fight against art trafficking. Three protagonists consume their stories every day risking their lives to protect and recover our great artistic patrimony dispersed around the world. intelligence activities, advanced technologies, mystery and action, to combat the third source of business for OC, after drugs and arms trafficking.

Operation Minerva is a book that tells the real stories of men and women engaged in a struggle against the crimes perpetrated on the world's artistic heritage. It is a tribute to those who work in anonymity, with their personal stories of love and loneliness. Italy is a battleground, due to the long history and cultures that have passed through the country. The psychologies of traffickers and those of the defenders of order, they are stripped naked and demystified. Love, hate, arrogance, are explored in this glimpse of Italian life.  A book that gives the "everyday emotions", which makes known a world that few insiders are aware.

"Giulio he moved while remaining at a safe distance trying to better see what they were doing. The men they seemed to have a clear plan, a procedure predetermined, after the well coated fresh excavation, they threw the tools behind the bushes and without taking anything with
they walked away toward their cars. Is it possible that what they had found they had then left under the fresh earth? When they would come back to finish the work?
He went back in the van by his colleagues and listened the interception. Then he decided to go back to retrieve walk his bike, an MV Augusta Brutale, had left  far away for not to create suspicion and he needed to think. When thus was, the movement of the legs helping him.

 Operation Minerva, gives us to gloss over a world that few of us knew and did not imagine when we are contemplating artworks transmit to us by an ancient culture that survives accessible to all thanks to the efforts of these men and women and we are reminded with care and detailing the human aspect of its protagonists, from a talented writer, studious of the human soul, Susanna Casubolo.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Letter to my best friend

by Giusi Nigro
I know you since you were a child, I saw you getting bigger and I noticed the sadness in your look, the tearing eyes of who remembers things you would want to forget. They pulled your hair and they forced, you to do something that you, incredulous, struggled to understand, in that dark corner, where traces of blood, cleared by the rain, are no longer there even if you still see them and that rip you inside when you re-think about the scene. During the night, you do not dream anymore to be grabbed with force and troughed on the ground, and being dominated by two monsters, you dream now to be strong and combatant: one night you shoot, armed with shot gun, the following night you cut them with a kitchen knife and yet you stab or you tie them with a rope.
During the night, in your loneliness, you are strong, not impotent like that evening, you announce victory, then you wake up in tears and the reality vehemently slams just in front of you impudently. Another shower delete, like to wash from your body that smell, those dirty hands which infiltrate between the underwear, and you leave the water running on the stolen innocence.

Many years of “why me?”, and why you? You will never find an answer, you will never understand, there is no why, it was your turn, everything just to dominate, like the savage instinct of somebody without breaks in front of the weak, like the temporary victory which gives you the title of a champion for a moment, like the forever losers which try to get even and act in group to recharge, to feel better, those sick in their head collecting trophies, fake trophies, imaginary, earned only due to the physics’ strength against a fragile person, and weaker. You were not the target but your skirt.
The suffered humiliation, and the silence, have been like a boulder for you, carrying it on your shoulders for many years. The judgement of people who did not know. Those severe accusations which yet resound: “she was easy!” told by who was not there but wanted to believe to the story of the trophy. The popular judgement of the small town there to protect the predators and strike the victim. You were young and innocent, afraid, defenseless, you could not know you were going to regret the silence, that if you had a guide, you could have sent them to prison. You believed the treats: “if you speak, you are dead! “and you were dead anyway.

Living without existing, feeling invisible and less than nothing, believing to be wrong, abandoning yourself to cheap thoughts, cowardly take the blame: “I deserve it, I trusted the wrong people”, I do not deserve anything good, I choose always the wrong because I am wrong, refusing the good things. No, you are not wrong, you needed that therapist to make you understand. You or somebody else did not make difference to them. Do not be ashamed, do not let them win, they have to be ashamed of their committed crime, those fouls ex-cons. You did not report them, not to be an accomplice, but for fear, for irresponsibility, because nobody teaches to a young girl in her early teens how to deal with these cases.
We are thought to be ashamed, to the mocking of the truth, in a small town where it is possible to perpetrate violence and they all will be from the side of the strong, even if the strong is not in the right side.

You cannot erase the past, I know it, and it will be your burden forever, but you can make this weight you carry around, as a good luck holder. Look at your inner side, you are not like them, you are a lot of more, you are sensitive, deep, and you are what they would like to be, you know how to dance, to dance under the rain, to look at the stars and shine with them, you know how to look at the horizon and create more joint lines, you can inspire. Look at them and ask yourself: “What are they good at? Who do they hang with?”.
You are the living success that you can heal from the pain. Look at your eyes now, shining, look at them inside, they are the reflection of a balance you asked from so long, they scream loud that the past is behind and need to move forward, they sum the price you paid, overpaid, but paid off. Now it is your turn to live, do it, do not hesitate, stand up to change everything you do not like it, stay far from pointless people, laugh!
Remember when you were laughing to void to cry? My dear friend, it will not be the same anymore, I see the light in your eyes, the strength of a healed after a terminal disease, the grit of a fighter winning against a bear. Their witch laugh which still echoed in your ears, is now your smile of happiness, calm, quiet, understanding that the torment is not a drug to be addicted of, but it is a victory against the pain, it is strength, it is putting the soul. The rest do not matter. He who laughs last laughs best!

I am so proud of you

Your friend,

Giusi Nigro